Phrases that help you feel more secure, recommended by psychologists

How to help yourself, understanding your emotions
What is emotional intelligence?
The definition of the term
Improve the quality of your life
How to say
Repeat the phrase every day
A powerful phrase
Change of attitude
A successful experiment
How to help yourself, understanding your emotions

Understanding and managing your emotions can have profound impacts on your psychological state. In the last thirty years, studies in the area of individual and collective psychology have fascinated scientists and yielded tools for self-help that you can use.

What is emotional intelligence?

According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information website, professors Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer were the pioneers in emotional intelligence and first defined this important concept.

In the photo, Peter Salovey, currently president of Yale University

The definition of the term

According to the professor, emotional intelligence is: "the ability to monitor one's own and others' emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use the information to guide one's thinking and actions."

Improve the quality of your life

Some psychologists suggest that, to train and develop emotional intelligence, a good start would be to repeat certain phrases to yourself every day. Managing our emotions this way can substantially improve our quality of life.

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"This is who I am, and I'm proud of it"

This phrase was proposed by a Harvard-trained psychologist, Dr. Cortney Warren. According to the expert, repeating it every day acts as a reminder to be consistent about the way we want to live in the world. Stand by your identity and ideas, and don't underestimate them.

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How to say "No"

Perhaps this word is one of the most difficult for insecure people to say, but, according to Dr. Warren, saying "no" is a great way to set limits and be more clear about what is good for you.

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"I’m not comfortable with that"

According to psychologists, to feel emotionally stronger and safer, it is important to communicate your own needs and demands, especially if someone tries to exceed your limits. Whenever you're uncomfortable, just say it out loud. It is not as awkward as you imagine it to be.

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"This matters to me"

"Having a solid belief system is key to being emotionally secure because it guides our choices. When a value is violated, emotionally secure people are able to take a stance for what they believe is moral and fair," said Dr. Warren on CNBC. Don't doubt yourself, you know better what matters to you than anyone.

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"I will work on that"

Being emotionally intelligent also means being willing, especially in close relationships, to make an effort to change. In this sense, we must say to ourselves or the person in question: "I will work on this change in my behavior / thinking patterns / reflexes."

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"Let me think about that before I respond"

This phrase is essential in many conversations. If someone says something that confuses you, because it might cross your boundaries, just take a moment to articulate your response. It's very important to remember this phrase to increase your emotional intelligence and become more confident. According to Dr. Warren, more confident people tend to communicate their answers in detail without being impulsive.

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"I’m sorry you're struggling. How can I help?"

Being empathetic and not judging others is a way to better enjoy your relationships with the people around you. Emotionally secure people tend to be helpful when they notice someone else is upset about something.

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"I love myself"

This phrase was suggested by the Venezuelan author and psychologist Ana Maria Sepe. She specializes in the study of personality and the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator model - a way to indicate whether someone is introvert or extrovert, thinking or feeling, etcetera.

Repeat the phrase every day

On her website, psychoadvisor.com, the psychologist states that saying "I love myself" every day is a way to strength your self-esteem. It can be a great help in starting over and reinventing your life.

A powerful phrase

'I love myself' is a powerful phrase that makes the individual learn to count on themselves. It helps awaken their inner potential, such as creativity, talent, and the desire to open up to others.

"In the midst of any difficulty, there is always an opportunity"

According to the Venezuelan psychologist, when difficulties arise, no matter how frustrating they may be, it is important to know how to persevere. Difficulties always hide opportunities. Think of something as a challenge, not a problem.

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"I like to be ironic"

Irony is an excellent medicine. As the American psychologist Richard Bandler says on psychoadvisor.com: "If you are too serious, you will become blocked. Humor is the quickest way to reverse this process. If you can laugh at a given situation, you can also change it."

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"If you want to be happy, you have to be aware"

According to Ana Maria Sepe, knowing your limits and values is essential to finding happiness. Being aware of yourself, of who you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses, will help you achieve well-being.

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Change of attitude

Furthermore, being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses is fundamental to being able to transform the things that leave you dissatisfied.

"It's the last key in the bunch that opens the door"

According to Ana Maria Sepe, this statement is a way of learning not to give up and to see defeats as a stimulus to move forward. No need to feel negative feelings about the keys that didn't work; focus on the one that will.

"Thanks"

According to an article published on the Harvard University website, many studies confirm that being grateful helps you live better and be stronger. In addition, it is good for your relationships with others.

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A successful experiment

Dr. Martin EP Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania asked volunteers to write a thank-you letter to someone who hadn't been thanked enough in their opinion. The result showed that there was a sharp increase in happiness levels for about a month. Saying 'thank you' is therefore good for the person receiving it as well as the person saying it!

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