Elliot Page: Hollywood is not as tolerant as it seems

Elliot Page is one of the first mainstream actors to have transitioned to the male sex. However, the journey wasn’t easy. In his memoir 'Pageboy,' he explains the challenging road to self-acceptance, also revealing that Hollywood may not be as liberal and welcoming to the queer community as it might seem on the surface.

In a chapter titled “Famous A— hole at Party,” Page describes how, just two months after coming out in 2014 as a lesbian, years before transitioning, he was the target of violent verbal harassment from an A-list actor.

Page recounts this disturbing encounter in his memoir. The actor told Page: “You aren't gay. That doesn’t exist. You are just afraid of men.” He then told Page: “I’m going to F you to make you realize you aren’t gay.”

While Page divulged some details with this revelation, he didn’t disclose the name of the actor. “I’m purposely not sharing his name,” Page told People Magazine, adding that many people at the party saw and heard what happened. “But he will hear about this and know it’s him.”

Page says he’s experienced this type of harassment on many occasions. “A lot of queer and trans people deal with it incessantly… actually, it's very awful. I included that story in the book because it’s about highlighting the reality,” he told People. “[In Hollywood], these are very powerful people. They're the ones choosing what stories are being told.”

Again concealing names, Page also reveals that he had a two-year relationship with a closeted female co-star. “Ultimately, I do think she loved me. We loved each other and that was very real in our bubble. It was fantastic,” he told People, adding that it was also “far too painful” having to hide.

When asked if closeted relationships still happen today, since it sounds very outdated, he said, “He/l yes, it does! “Some of my closest friends didn't even know I was in a relationship. And I was in a relationship for a decent amount of time. I mean, that is next level.”

Outside of the secret one, Page also reveals an affair with actress Kate Mara, who was dating actor Max Minghella. The romance began in 2014, shortly after Page came out and was filming ‘X-Men: Days of Future Past.’

“It was a time of exploration and also heartbreak. I think my relationship, or whatever you want to call it, with Kate, very much encapsulates a certain dynamic that I consistently found myself in, which was falling for people - I think a lot of us do this - who aren't fully available,” Page told People.

Page wrote that Minghella was supportive of Mara exploring her feelings at the time. The actress eventually married ‘Billy Elliot’ actor Jamie Bell, with whom she has two children.

He said he first acknowledged he was trans around his 30th birthday, almost four years before he came out publicly as a trans man in 2020. “I felt comfortable in environments with queer women. But something in me knew that I was transgender. It was something I had always known but didn’t have the words for, wouldn't permit myself to embrace,” he wrote in Pageboy.

Page says he first felt the urge to be a 'boy' at age six, but struggled with that desire for decades. “Imagine the most uncomfortable, mortifying thing you could wear. You squirm in your skin. It’s tight, you want to peel it from your body, tear it off, but you can’t. Day in and day out,” he writes of his gender dysphoria.

Image: elliotpage / Instagram

In the passage, he continues describing how he wrestled with the shame and guilt he felt around feeling like he was in the wrong body. “And if people learn what is underneath, who you are without that pain, the shame will come flooding out, too much to hold. The voice says you deserve the humiliation. You are an abomination. You are not real.”

Page writes that the backlash and hatred he’s received for being trans have become worse in recent years. “I am sick of the creepy focus on my body and the compulsion to infantilize (which I have always experienced, but nothing like this). And it isn’t just people online, or on the street, or strangers at a party, but good acquaintances and friends,” he writes.

Page was born in Nova Scotia, Canada. His mom was a minister’s daughter and didn’t believe in homosexuality. By age 16, his gender dysphoria began manifesting in self-harm and eating disorders. He gravitated to the world of acting.

Formerly Ellen Page, he had early success in Canada as an actor but became incredibly famous for portraying a pregnant teenage girl in the film ‘Juno,’ for which he was nominated for an Academy Award. Page is also well known for roles in ‘Inception’ and the Netflix superhero series ‘The Umbrella Academy.’

Image: Juno trailer /SearchlightPictures/Youtube