The worst movies of 2022 and their extremely scathing reviews

Variety magazine had asked two of its critics (Owen Gleiberman and Peter Debruge) to make a selection of the worst films of 2022. And this is the result: ten productions that they consider to be such failures that they should, in fact, be avoided completely. Which are they?

'Amsterdam' is David O. Russell's romantic epic about three friends who become embroiled in one of the most shocking secret plots in American history in the 1930s. Sounds good? Well, for Owen Gleiberman, it is a "bizarre fiasco" and that it "can’t seem to make up its mind what it’s about".

Photo: 20th Century Studios

The critic has said that it is "paralyzingly, head-scratchingly incoherent," "whimsically annoying" and "boring." Not to mention the scathing critique regarding Christian Bale and Margot Robbie's lack of connection on screen.

Finally, adds Gleiberman, "By the time the film gets there, you wish that Russell could just start over with that reality and ditch the twee misfire he made up." Yikes.

The film that is shown at the start of this gallery is based on the novel by Joyce Carol Oates. It is the reinvented personal story of Marilyn Monroe. But it was not to the liking of quite a few of the world's critics, including Peter Debruge, who focuses his criticism almost entirely on its director.

According to the Variety critic, Andrew Dominik reduces Marilyn Monroe's character to that of "victim status, that makes the role so shallow." The critic continues without ever criticizing actress Ana de Armas, of whom he says that "accent issues aside, Ana de Armas manages better than most."

Debruge further insists on the idea of how the director (Andrew Dominik, image) has shaped the protagonist's character noting that he "constructs his oppressively 'tasteful' interpretation around famous images of the star." He sums up by calling the movie an "ugly, ungenerous portrait."

Not even films that have had good press and good promotion, such as 'Minions: The Rise of Gru,' are free of criticism. The newest film from the saga takes us to Gru as a child, already with aspirations of becoming a white-collar thief.

Gleiberman shows no mercy to the fifth installment of the Gru saga and suggests that it is a "lifeless" film, making a very graphic comparison that it "serves no more purpose than a cash cow that’s being milked dry."

The critic also says that it is totally predictable with Gru as an 11-year-old boy who dreams of becoming a supervillain. And "that's the whole problem," he says, because "He’s already decided what he’s going to be, robbing the story of its 'rise' factor and making Gru seem as if he always knew it was his destiny to be a McDonald’s action figure."

The Italian film directed by Luca Guadagnino stars Timothée Chalamet and Taylor Russell. It takes us into a love story between a vagabond boy and a young woman who wants to live on the fringes of society. Two people with a hidden past and a story where cannibalism plays a major role.

Another film that Gleiberman is not very happy about, no matter how many awards it has received (for example at the Venice Film Festival). He describes its main characters as "nice, sexy and dull," despite their character foundations having promise.

The critic adds that it is "two hours and 10 minutes" and "almost nothing actually happens. We have more than enough time to gawk at the oversize holes in Chalamet’s jeans, which reveal a set of bones nearly as bare as the script."

Director Keith Thomas returned to adapt Stephen King's novel of the same name, as Mark L. Lester did in 1984 with Drew Barrymore in the lead role. And, about this latest adaptation, Gleiberman asks: "Why remake one of the worst Stephen King movies of the '80s?"

The critics answered his own question: "To prove that you can make an even worse version of it." A direct blow to Thomas' heart for his third work as a director.

Of this remake of Stephen King's original story, Gleiberman laments that it is "overstocked with conspiratorial plot turns that are very cut-and-dried kindling. The sets explode into oversize blazes, but the movie never catches fire."

Photo: Universal Pictures

Nor does Gleiberman have too many kind words to say about George Miller's latest film, the fantasy starring Idris Elba and Tilda Swinton. This movie is about a genie and his three wishes and, amidst those, tales from the past - whilst adding a love story.

The Variety critic first hits first on the film's director, George Miller, who he says is "a visionary director when he's making Mad Max films," but "the rest of the time, not so much."

He then hits the feature film directly: "His hollow adaptation of an A.S. Byatt short story is a multi-tiered fable that time-trips through history while reducing it to a kind of overstuffed bric-à-brac store," notes Gleiberman.

The French film, directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, was picked apart by Peter Debruge. The film tells the story of a group of people living on the outskirts of a city who get trapped when a robot rebellion causes their robot to lock them in their house for their own good.

Photo: Netflix

"At his best, 'Amélie' auteur Jean-Pierre Jeunet makes elaborate Rube Goldberg-style contraptions: bright, shiny movies with lots of moving parts that buzz and whirl for a time before falling neatly into place," says Debruge, but then he adds: "'Bigbug' represents what happens when that formula short-circuits."

The reviewer says that "Jeunet lost his mojo long ago, I’m afraid, but he’s still a big name, which probably explains why Netflix greenlit this aggressively unfunny near-future comedy." Ouch.

This Judd Apatow film impressively stars Karen Gillan, Pedro Pascal, Leslie Mann, Maria Bakalova, and David Duchovny, among others. It follows a group of actors and actresses trapped in a hotel because of a pandemic, while trying to finish shooting a movie.

Photo: Netflix

It's a film that Debruge has branded as "another dud in Judd," for Netflix, adding that it is a "painful industry spoof."

He further adds ironically, "I’m glad the 'Bros' producer managed to get through the pandemic surrounded by funny people, but by the time the film hit Netflix, the joke seemed played out."

This 2022 movie is a science-fiction project launched under the orders of Joseph Kosinski, based on a story by George Saunders and starring Chris Hemsworth. It tells us how, in the near future, inmates are offered the opportunity to undergo medical experiments to shorten their sentences.

Photo: Netflix

Debruge makes an initial reference to his screenwriters and then to Kosinski himself, of whom he says that "When he succeeds, the results can be mind-blowing ('Top Gun: Maverick'), but he was a terrible match to adapt George Saunders’ medical experimentation satire."

"Kosinski miscasts Chris Hemsworth as the mad scientist and sets what should have been a low-key indie in what looks like a Bond villain’s lair," adds Debruge.

The last film in this list of fiascos of the year (according to Variety), is, in the opinion of Peter Debruge, Simon Kinberg's action thriller 'The 355.' It's a film about a group of agents (women) from various countries who unite to save the world from dangerous mercenaries.

Photo: Universal Pictures

"A dream cast of top female talents — including Penélope Cruz, Lupita Nyong’o, and Jessica Chastain — teamed up to prove that spy movies aren't exclusively a boys' game," Debruge starts promisingly... "but they had the bad fortune of trusting Simon Kinberg to direct."

And more firewood for Kinberg: "This is the guy who botched the last 'X-Men' movie, and here, he takes an Oscar-lauded cast and makes them look foolish. The man can’t choreograph action, and the result is laughably phony, like watching kids posed up behind doorframes, yelling 'pew pew' as they pantomime shooting one another."