Laugh and cringe at the punniest jokes of all time!

"I was addicted to the hokey pokey....

...but then I turned myself around."

"Did you hear the rumor about butter?"

"Well, I’m not going to spread it!"

 

"What do you call a fake noodle?"

"An Impasta."

Image: Ramen Noodle Hair Guy from Nickelback/ Facebook

"Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?"

"In case they get a hole in one!"

"I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes."

"Turns out it was the refrigerator all along."

"Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says....

"Do you smell fish?"

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?"

"Great food, no atmosphere!"

"What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?"

"They're both Paris sites."

"Why did the raisin go out with the prune?"

"Because he couldn’t find a date."

"What do you call a bear with no teeth?"

"A gummy bear."

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?"

"Pilgrims."

"How do you organize an outer space party?"

You planet.

"How does dry skin affect you at work?"

"You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."

"Why didn't Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner?"

"It was Chewie."

"Why was the pig covered in ink?"

"Because it lived in a pen."

"What happens when it rains cats and dogs?"

"You have to be careful not to step in a poodle."

"What did the evil chicken lay?"

"Deviled eggs."

"What did the ocean say to the beach?"

"Nothing, it just waved."

Picture: Spencer Watson / Unsplash

"Why did the math book look sad?"

"Because it had too many problems!"

"What did the grape say when it got stepped on?"

"Nothing, it just let out a little wine."

"What did one wall say to the other?"

"I'll meet you at the corner."

"What did the skeleton order with its beer?"

"A mop."

"What kind of spells do leprechauns use?"

"Lucky Charms."

"Why don't eggs tell jokes?"

"They'd crack each other up."

"What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?"

"Where's Pop Corn?"

"What did the drummer call his twin daughters?"

"Anna one, Anna two…"

"How do you make 7 even?"

"Take away the s."

"Why did the coffee file a police report?"

"It got mugged!"

"When a clock is hungry...

...it goes back four seconds."

"What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?"

"A meltdown."

"Why do nurses like red crayons?"

"Sometimes they have to draw blood."

"What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown?"

"Does this taste funny to you?"

"What did one plate whisper to the other plate?"

"Dinner is on me."

 

 

"What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday."

"All the others are weekdays."

"My dentist offered me dentures for only a dollar."

"It sounded like a good deal at the time, but now I have buck teeth."

 

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"Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped....

...It was otter chaos."

"Long fairy tales...

have a tendency to dragon."

"People using umbrellas...

...always seem to be under the weather."

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