The high cost of weddings is keeping more guests away

It's meant to be the happiest day of your life, but then the guest cancellations start rolling in. A study shows that a quarter of wedding guests bow out when the costs get too steep.

There's something special about being invited to celebrate together: the gathering, the great food, the delightful drinks, and the joy of shared moments. Yet, the financial burden can sometimes overshadow the festive spirit.

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Usually, a dinner invitation might prompt guests to bring a host gift, like a bottle of wine or a bouquet of flowers. More than just a polite gesture, these gifts symbolize gratitude for the invitation.

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Gifts carry a significant weight in our interactions, playing a far more crucial role than just a social nicety.

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French sociologist Marcel Mauss discussed the critical role of giving and receiving gifts in stabilizing social relationships. But his main argument is that gifts are never quite free.

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Economic sociologist Sascha Münnich echoes this sentiment, telling German media outlet rbb24 that gifts are "the glue that holds our social fabric together."

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The exchange of gifts isn’t always immediate or material. It’s about the idea that today's favor, like helping a friend move, can be repaid in other ways down the line.

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Instead, a possible exchange could look like this: I'll help a friend move today, and then at some point in the future he'll help me paint my apartment, buy me dinner, or give me a ride in his car. A wedding gift plays into this...

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It is precisely by delaying this exchange of 'gifts' that "the relationship is maintained," says Münnich.

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However, this creates a problem, especially with ritualized events such as weddings, birthdays, or Christmas.

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As a study by the payment provider Klarna found, one in four Germans has already said no to a wedding invitation due to the cost, according to stern.de.

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Among the 1,000 people aged 16 to 65 surveyed, 30% said they would spend a maximum of 250 euros ($270) on a wedding invitation, while another 30% capped their spending at 500 euros ($536).

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Attending a wedding involves more than just the cost of a gift—travel and accommodation expenses can add up, depending on the wedding’s location and style.

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Looking at the exchange of 'gifts' to maintain relationships reveals that it's probably not just the monetary value that leads to cancellations.

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It's more about the likelihood of reciprocation in the exchange of 'gifts' that serves as the glue in relationships.

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Meaning: For my best friend, I'd happily travel across the world for their wedding and give a generous gift because I know I'm investing in our friendship and that it will be reciprocated in kind.

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However, for a school friend from the past with whom I barely keep in touch, this investment in the relationship feels much more than it's worth to me, especially since I'm unlikely to see the same return.

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For those getting married, this means: If you want many guests, plan so that it incurs minimal expenses for those you are inviting. Have you ever turned down a wedding invitation due to costs? Let us know in the comments!

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