Don't shoot the messenger: the worst movie reviews of 2023
The film releases for 2023 have been a mixed bag. Some have gone down very well with the critics, others have received some scathing (and slightly funny) reviews. We picked the best...
What's it about? Special agent Orson Fortune and his team recruit one of Hollywood's biggest movie stars to help them on an undercover mission after the sale of a deadly new weapons technology threatens world peace.
Photo: Lionsgate
"The characters never take shape, not even as caricatures. There are elements of parody, but "Operation Fortune" is not broad enough to be a spoof. It's weirdly empty... Nothing pops. There's no point of view. "Operation Fortune" is a caper that doesn't caper at all." - Sheila O'Malley, Roger Ebert.com
Photo: Lionsgate
We all know what it's about! A young mermaid makes an agreement with a sea witch to trade her angelic voice for human legs so she can discover the world above water and find true love.
Photo: Walt Disney Animated Studios
"The new, live-action “The Little Mermaid” is everything nobody should want in a movie: dutiful and defensive, yet desperate for approval. It reeks of obligation and noble intentions. Joy, fun, mystery, risk, flavour, kink — they’re missing." - Wesley Morris, New York Times
Photo: Walt Disney Animated Studios
The storyline sets the premise... After Christopher Robin abandons his old friends for college, Pooh and Piglet embark on a bloody rampage as they deal with the betrayal of Christopher Robin and go on a bloody hunt for a new source of food.
Photo: Jagged Edge Productions/ITN Studios
"As a subversive take on Milne, it’s achingly banal. As a rural horror film, it’s more inept than the most wretched Wrong Turn sequel. As a would-be cult classic, it commits the ultimate sin of being no fun at all." - Kim Newman, Empire Magazine
Photo: Jagged Edge Productions/ITN Studios
What's it about? A group of aging friends made it their mission to go to the Super Bowl and meet NFL superstar Tom Brady.
Photo: Paramount pictures
"It’s not funny, it’s too long, and I had so many questions that were not answered by the end of the film. I would say maybe your Nan might like it but, even then, unless she’s a Patriots fan, she might be better off watching anything else." - Sarah Jane, The Austin Chronicle
Photo: Paramount pictures
What's it about? Two long-distance best friends change each other's lives when the woman decides to pursue a lifelong dream and he offers to keep an eye on her teenage son.
Photo: Netflix
"There have been some terrible romcoms over the years but here is a good nominee for one of the worst; a film that actively keeps its stars apart for 95% of the film and cannot sell what makes them friends let alone potential lovers." - Erik Childress, Movie Madness Podcast
Photo: Netflix
What's THIS one about? During the '90s, a new faction of Transformers - the Maximals - join the Autobots as allies in the battle for Earth.
Photo: Paramount Pictures
"Fortified with very low expectations, a supreme suspension of disbelief and a decent set of ear plugs, expect to be mildly entertained with a sci-fi fantasy that's barely more than meets the eye" - Jeff Spry, Space.com
Photo: Paramount Pictures
What's it all about? Detectives Nick and Audrey are struggling to get their private eye agency off the ground. They find themselves involved in an international abduction when their friend Maharaja is kidnapped at his own wedding.
Photo: Netflix
"Pyrotechnics are plentiful, but laughs are not." - Richard Roeper, Chicago Sun-Times
Photo: Netflix
What's it about? An astronaut crash lands on a mysterious planet only to discover he's not alone and the inhabitants of the planet are less than friendly.
Photo: Sony Pictures
The longer that 65 drags on, the more it reveals it lacks anything approaching a creative vision. When you then look back on the entire experience, it is fascinating how fleeting it is and how little of an impact it all leaves. Though there are movies that are worse than 65, it is part of a select few that manage to utterly and completely squander their own potential." - Chase Hutchinson, Collider
Photo: Sony Pictures
What's it about? An alien scarab chooses Jaime Reyes to be its symbiotic host, entrusting the young college graduate with a suit of armour that's capable of extraordinary powers, changing his life and destiny as he becomes the superhero Blue Beetle.
Photo: Warner Bros. Pictures
Everyone knows this is yet another dud by dc by now. But after hearing some positive buzz i thought i'd give it a chance. But nope. It's just another superhero movie. This is something we've seen a hundred times at this point. - Reviewer martinrobertson300482 on IMDB
Photo: Warner Bros. Pictures
What's it about? Cole falls head over heels for the beautiful and charismatic Sadie, but he later discovers that she's a secret agent. Before they can decide on a second date, Cole and Sadie are caught up in an international adventure to save the world.
Photo: Apple Studios
"Dreadful big star action comedy deserves to be ignored... Chris Evans and Ana de Armas make for a chemistry-free pairing in Apple’s catastrophically misfiring mockbuster." - Benjamin Lee, the Guardian
Photo: Apple Studios
What's it about? The research team confronts various threats while exploring the depths of the ocean, including a malevolent mining operation.
Photo: Warner Bros. Pictures
"The Trench is an example of a good premise squandered by a poorly executed story. Instead of sticking with the simple story that we want (Jason Statham battling a giant CGI shark), they tried to get too clever." - Sarah Callen Medium
Photo: Warner Bros. Pictures
What's it about? Mike takes to the stage one last time, after a business deal that went bust, leaving him broke and working as a bartender in Florida. Mike heads to London with a wealthy socialite who entices him with an offer he can't refuse.
Photo: Warner Bros. Pictures
"The preposterous finale to the stripper trilogy baffles right from the beginning, when an eloquent British teen narrator tells us Mike Lane’s whereabouts as though she’s Elizabeth Bennet from “Pride and Prejudice.” - Johnny Oleksinski, The New York Post
Photo: Warner Bros. Pictures
What's this one about? Archaeologist Indiana Jones races against time to retrieve a legendary artifact that can change the course of history in this last hoorah for the famous Dr Jones
Photo: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
"The screenplay, by Jez Butterworth, John Henry Butterworth and David Koepp, sometimes seems like a mish-mash of elements from the older movies thrown together in scattergun fashion. In the final reel, the film slips into outright absurdity" - Geoffrey Macnab, The Independent
Photo: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
Don't we know what this is about? Well, this film is following the adventures of Peter Pan, the boy who never grew up, and how he convinces three siblings in London to join up with him. Together they embark on a magical adventure on the delightful island of Neverland.
Photo: Disney +
"There is swashbuckling and the ticking crocodile and Smee, but the narrative always feels perfunctory and inert possibly because there’s just no spark between any of the characters, least of all Wendy and Peter, who is portrayed as a sulky kind of chap." - Deborah Ross, The Spectator
Photo: Disney +
What's it about? Gabriele Amorth, the Vatican's leading exorcist, investigates the possession of a child and uncovers a conspiracy the Vatican has tried to keep secret.
Photo: Sony Pictures
"The actor shows up, but The Pope’s Exorcist repeatedly fails to deliver on the challenges it sets up for itself. It allows Crowe to have fun with the part of Father Amorth, but the film forgets to have fun along with him." - Bilge Ebiri, film critic for New York and Vulture
Photo: Sony Pictures