Princes William and Harry: origins of the brothers' rift

Since the day the royal family expressed support for Harry and Meghan's choices and desire for them to live the life they wanted, the Sussexes embarked on a media campaign to expose the private life of the Royals. The Duke and Duchess decided to 'expose all' in an array of interviews, podcasts, and a tell-all book. The question is, will the family break under the strain, and what happened from the beginning to get to this point?

Charles wanted his son at his coronation and he turned up. It wasn't to be the moment that repaired damaged and strained family connections. Since then there hasn't been much comment - only speculation - about the current status of relationships within the British Royal family.

As far as the British media is aware, there has been no conversation between Harry and his father King Charles and his brother, William the Prince of Wales since Harry's memoir 'Spare' stormed the book shops and rattled the media and British public, as Vanity Fair assures. Many things were said about Harry's strained relationship with his family including wanting his dad and brother 'back' from the perils of the monarchy.

In some back-handed interviews, Harry has expressed his desire to reconcile with his father and bother; yet in his next sentence, he lists out their shortcomings. It is clear from Harry's opinion that things are not well between him and his father and brother - but have they always been that way? We look at Charles as a father and how his relationships with William and Harry have developed, suffered, and dwindled.

Charles III, King of England, has more than just his royal title. He is also a husband, father, and grandfather. Over the years, controversial comments have been made about the monarch’s relationship with his sons - especially since the family has suffered discord, divorce, and death.

Of course, King Charles’ sons are Prince William, now Prince of Wales; and Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex. Both young men have had very different experiences and opinions of their upbringing - one to become the future King and the other to break from royal duties altogether. But, as, kids, it was simpler.

William and Harry seemed to have a good upbringing with their father. Of course, life in the spotlight was never easy for two young boys, and photos are just photos; but there definitely seemed to be happiness within the family unit.

According to The Mirror, Charles said in a documentary that when "William was tiny, I used to muck around with him as much as I possibly could." A hands-on father figure?

It seemed Charles was there for his sons at the important moments. William even remembered in an ITV documentary ('When Ant and Dec met the Prince: 40 Years of the Prince's Trust') that Charles had gone to his school play as a child. However, that didn’t turn out as one would expect…

William said: "There was meant to be a bit of pyrotechnic explosion in front of me and I jumped on stage and nothing happened. And so I started reading it and of course, at this point, I was quite panicky. And then the pyrotechnic went off as I was reading…
Literally, he couldn't stop laughing the whole way through the production and so several times I'd stop, I'd cast an eye across, a big death stare, and then I'd try and get back to my lines. It was terrible. Honestly.”

Despite what seemed to be a happy childhood for the children, there were darker things at play between the boys’ parents. The marriage between Prince Charles and Princess Diana was breaking down and, as in all families, the children knew something was up. Slowly, the family dynamic started to change.

According to The Daily Beast, William was strained to "almost breaking point" over the fallout between his parents. William had taken his mother's side and it was a grueling position for any young man to be in.

Author of 'Diana’s Boys,' Christopher Andersen, told The Daily Beast: "By the time he was 9, William was completely shell-shocked by his parents’ open marital warfare and his first impulse was to comfort Diana. His mother would flee to the bathroom in tears, and it was William who famously slipped tissues under the door as he pleaded with her not to cry."

"At the time, William blamed Charles for making his mother miserable, and he often lashed out at his father in anger. More than once he was seen clenching his fists at Charles and shouting 'I hate you Papa! I hate you!'" The writer continued.

Of course, William was 13, going on 14, when the road to divorce was taken. The Daily Beast reports that speculations arose that William’s relationship with Charles was struggling as he was of an age where he understood more of what was going on.

Harry, however, was a little less knowledgeable at just 11 years of age. Friends of the royal family speculated he had a stronger relationship with Charles at the time, as remarked by The Daily Beast.

Even so, Charles wrote to both his sons while they were at boarding school at Eton. During ITV’s Ant and Dec interview, William said the brothers would swap letters and read each other's in case they were being told off. But, he did make an effort to keep in touch, even if the brothers struggled to read his handwriting.

"His writing in his letters is notoriously difficult to read but as it gets later in the evening, it's about 12 when he's writing letters, we can tell instantly. When he's falling asleep you get these long sort of A's that disappear off the page," the Prince had said in the ITV documentary.

Many years later, it would be William who finally gave an insight into what Charles was like, as a father. In the BBC documentary ‘Prince, Son and Heir: Charles at 70,’ William stated he was frustrated by Charles’ personal discipline.

"He has a routine. The only way to fit all this stuff in is [that] things have to be compartmentalised. The man never stops. I mean, when we were kids there was bags and bags and bags of work that the office just sent to him. We could barely even get to his desk to say goodnight to him," William stated in the documentary.

Then, in August 1997, when William was 15 years old and Harry 12, their mother was taken from them in a car crash in Paris. Needless to say, both children were heartbroken and the entire royal family suffered. It was the beginning of a change in both boys.

The three gentlemen were left alone. It seemed they rallied together in a time of need. In fact, Charles even joined his sons for a skiing trip in Switzerland a few years later. However, the boys’ interactions with the press spoke volumes about what might be really happening behind closed doors...

They said nothing. Despite the multiple interviews the two boys gave, there was a huge lack of comments about their father. Certainly, there seemed no praise from William, and even to this day, he has spoken very little about the father-son relationship after that harrowing event where the world watched him walk behind Diana's coffin.

In the BBC programme 'Diana, 7 Days,' William said: "My grandmother wanted to protect her two grandsons, and my father as well. Our grandmother deliberately removed the newspapers, and things like that, so there was nothing in the house at all. So we didn’t know what was going on."

In the BBC documentary, Harry also spoke out about his sad days following the death of his mother. He said: "One of the hardest things for a parent to have to do is tell your children that your other parent has died. How you deal with that, I don’t know. But he was there for us. He was the one out of two left. And he tried to do his best and to make sure that we were protected and looked after. But he was going through the same grieving process as well."

In 2017, however, Harry infamously told Newsweek his opinion on joining the procession behind his mother’s coffin. He said that he didn’t "think any child should be asked to do that, under any circumstances."

It was clear that Harry was the one later making news headlines with his interesting attire and controversial girlfriends. As time went past, however, it seemed he had grown out of this period in his life and was ready to settle down with Meghan Markle.

Of course, at the wedding of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Charles played a vital role. Due to family rifts on the Markle side, Charles was given the honour of walking his daughter-in-law-to-be down the aisle. All was going well.

William also seemed to be enjoying his role in the royal family. He had married Kate Middleton and had children. But it was Charles who didn’t like the change in his eldest son.

According to The Daily Beast, Charles hated William’s 'I’m in touch with my feelings' mantra and his more emotional style after his marriage with Kate. Yet the public has grown to love the couple more and more. It just wasn’t Charles’ style.

"Charles’ style is very different; buttoned up, reserved and he hated the emoting, the interviews about [William's] mental health and his feelings," a family source told The Daily Beast. "He felt [emotion] wasn’t regal. It annoyed him with both sons, but particularly William because he didn’t feel the future king had to be touchy-feely, and it irritated him that William didn’t seem willing to take that on board."

Despite the "multiple rows" father and eldest son had, as the Daily Beast reports, their relationship has had to stay strong - both being future Kings and having to work together almost like partners. They had a common goal and that is something that would always bring them together.

Harry, on the other hand, saw he had no future in the royal family and wanted to protect his wife and children from the media and the stress of the press. He wanted to avoid the same disastrous outcome that his mother suffered. The bombshell struck the family in 2020. Harry and Meghan were ‘leaving’ the royal family.

Image: Harry's memoir, 'Spare'

Of course, this break must have come as a blow to Charles, who seemed to have had a closer relationship with Harry through the tough 90s. In fact, Harry told all to Oprah, stating that his father had ‘cut him off’ and labelling the royals as ‘racist’.

Harry said of his father: "Of course, I will always love him, but there’s a lot of hurt that’s happened and I will continue to make it one of my priorities to try and heal that." The younger brother also said he felt sorry for his father and brother as they were ‘trapped’ in their royal lives.

Certainly, one good thing that came out of Megxit (as many publications called the Harry/Meghan exit from the royal family,) was that William was instantly thrust at his father’s side. They had to defend the royal family together and really work together from this moment on.

Charles has tried to maintain a strong relationship with his grandchildren via his sons and continues to only have nice things to say about them. He had previously stated on Instagram he was "proud of my son, William."

In his first address to Britain and his Commonwealth realms, King Charles III made it clear that he wishes only the best for Harry and his daughter-in-law Meghan. "I want also to express my love for Harry and Meghan as they continue to build their lives overseas," the king said. Perhaps his statement might read differently now...